It seems strange to be documenting a new eating program. I'm beginning to record the monthly record of my weight loss so that I hold myself accountable through sharing my success.
At the age of seven I discovered that people thought I was not worthy of being touched because my skin was repulsive; I had been diagnosed at 3 months with ichthyosis, and my parents were told it was hereditary and there was nothing to be done. It surprised me that people would respond so negatively since I had not had that experience before. Not only did people refuse to touch me, but they thought I was dirty. The last time I wore shorts in public I was 10 years old; a young child pointed at my knees and asked what was on them; her mother said, “It’s mud. Stay away.” And pulled her child away from me.
I have recently learned that many physical "challenges" result from a nutritional deficiency. Our bodies don't always get the nutrition they need, and this manifests in different ways in different people. In my case I have a skin problem, and I developed cravings for food to fill some unmet need.
Psychologists would tell you that I was "filling the void in my life" from the lack of touch with other people with food. That the food "represented" something missing.
They would be right: I was missing the 90 essential nutrients that would maintain my body in a healthy state!
Since public school it has been a challenge, often an impossibility, to find clothes that felt comfortable and attractive.
My first experience with a “diet” was in high school. My family doctor gave me a diet program and told me that I would easily lose weight if I followed it. I still remember how hungry I felt in spite of the volumes of food: breakfast was cereal with skim milk, two slices of dry toast, a glass of orange juice and a cup of tea; there was even a piece of cake in the program for dessert after one dinner each week. I didn’t lose weight and I rapidly learned that, in addition to being repulsive, I was a failure.
My next diet was the (original) Atkins program. I lost 20 lb, and then regained that and more when I returned to a “more normal” eating regimen. When a gastroenterologist recommended a “liquid protein” diet – and told me it was my last chance! – I tried it. Mixing the protein powder broke two blenders; it tasted vile, and my colleagues at work told me it had the smell and consistency of polyfilla!
I have spent years trying diets, including vegetarian and vegan (for seven years), experiencing limited success, and then regaining the lost weight – and more. I’ve gone to Weight Watchers, used any number of specialized programs, and been monitored on some extreme medical programs. In every case I lost some weight and the monitors/doctors have accused me of “cheating” on the program because it wasn’t “enough.”
It was always my experience that I would regain the weight – and more – reinforcing my feelings of failure and confirming that I was unattractive.
Because of my interest in healing my skin and reducing my weight, I have spent a lot of time reading about nutrition and supplementation over the years. When I was 18, I learned that in the 1930s the governments of Canada and the US had declared that the soils were depleted of nutrients and needed additional fertilizing just to grow crops. I started taking supplements, since clearly the food we eat could no longer provide adequate nutrients. I started with multivitamins, and went on to take large daily doses of many vitamins.
I have studied more about the impact of vitamins and amino acids over the years; I even got certified as a Sports Nutrition Specialist so that I could better understand the function of vitamins, some minerals, and amino acids in the body. I have supplemented my diet with various combinations, always searching for a product line and combinations of nutrients that had me feel better and improve my health and weight. Nothing worked.
When Ashley and Duffy (my beloved best friends) told me to listen to Dr. Glidden and Dr. Wallach and research Youngevity products, I was excited. Upon speaking with Dr. Glidden and meeting Dr. Wallach at a seminar in Toronto, I was thrilled. Both Dr. Glidden and Dr. Wallach have explained the science behind weight management and skin healing, starting by supplementing with the essential 90 nutrients everybody needs and which are deficient in our diets and adding the specialized nutrition to support healing of specific issues.
It amazes me that much of what I have believed throughout my life is actually scientifically documented and validated: there is a nutritional reason for my body, including my skin, to be different than the “normal” body I would love to live in. The volume of nutrients that I need, at my weight, is different from the amount required by another person whose weight is more or less than mine – what a sensible thought!
I worked very hard to be successful in my professional life, and I believe that I had to work harder than others to demonstrate my proficiency against people’s judgments of me as a fat woman – lazy, stupid and uneducated – when I had obtained a master’s degree and various certifications and worked as a senior manager at a major university.
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| November 1st, 2011 |
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I have done many different diet programs in my life. I've done low carbohydrate, lot fat, low protein. I've done shakes when they tasted and looked like polyfilla. I've done fasts and cleanses, and been supervised by doctors. On many occasions I have lost a little weight and on a couple I lost a lot of weight.
I have never kept the weight off for longer than one year -- until this time.
This time FEELS different.
I've been finding that I feel well, and I don't "crave" for anything. It's a really different feeling than I've ever experienced before.
I've been eating only the healthy foods, and for the last two weeks I've added all the nutrient supplements my body has clearly been hunting for. I'm properly nutrified for once!
So I'm starting my journey, following a new path: gluten free and 91 essential nutrients.
Let's see what happens.
